LEMME LIVE: How Kourtney Kardashian (may have?) Inflicted Bodily Harm On Me

BEFORE WE BEGIN

Lemme begin by offering the following disclaimer:

This article was NOT supposed to turn out this way. My intention was to give these products an earnest trial, but what happened to me as a result of it was something I couldn’t, in good conscience, omit from the overall review.

I can’t confirm that the negative effects that I experienced during the trial were a direct result of using the products, but I can’t conclusively deny that prospect either. I truly don’t know what happened, but as of today (February 9th, 2023) I am no longer taking these supplements, and I have only given one of the bottles away with a very serious version of the disclaimer I’ve just offered above.

Alright, are we good? Cool. Onto the review…

My History With Supplements

One thing about me: I love taking supplements. If there’s something I can take that promises to augment my life in any way, I will take it. That may sound a little sketchy, and you’re right; it totally is. I should absolutely be more careful about how I treat my body– especially what I put into it. Growing up, I watched my father end every day with a tall glass of water and about 25 different supplements of different shapes and sizes. I would pull up a chair and watch as he ingested them, one by one, quietly suppressing my bewilderment as he swallowed the largest, roughest, weirdest-looking pills without even so much as a grimace. I wasn’t even able to swallow pills until I turned about 16 years old. I couldn’t understand how he was able to finish every day in that way.

My father would explain what each of the supplements was. The tiny pale-yellow ones were Vitamin E, and the clear capsules filled with chunky grey matter were Saw Palmetto; those were for prostate health. My grandfather died from prostate cancer when I was 2. My father did whatever he could to make sure that he wouldn’t meet the same fate. I’m speaking of my father in the past tense not because he’s deceased (he’s very much alive) but because after a while, he learned that the ingestion of too many supplements can damage the liver if one isn’t carefully curating their regimen. He has since reduced his regimen to a very small handful of supplements that he deems are still worth taking. Imagine his dismay when he learned that he spent quite literally thousands of dollars over the course of two decades on supplements that can’t even be properly absorbed by oral ingestion. Tough sledding.

Personally, I feel that the supplements one takes are reflective of what one values, or in my father’s case, what one fears. For a long time, I had a deep fear of gaining weight. To combat weight gain, I would take Green Coffee Bean Extract and various other metabolism boosters that promised everything from “fat-melting” to “intense mental focus” and the ability to “shed pounds overnight.” – definitely not ideal for the liver, if I had to guess. Thankfully, I’m in solid health, and I consider myself very lucky to have not done permanent damage to my body after years of what some might classify as borderline supplement abuse. I still take vitamins, especially ones that support my pelvic floor health, as I have had chronic pelvic issues since around age 9. For that, I take something called D-Mannose. I’m not entirely sure if it’s helping but I’m almost positive that it isn’t hurting– so that works for me.

Lemme Try It

At GoodFeed, I try to offer my services beyond editing and contributing various strategic insights in the name of conducting experiments. At the time of writing this, I’m also working on reviews of the Diva Cup and an anti-sweat lotion called Carpe. I’m a first-time user of both, so keep an eye out for my honest takes on those very polarizing products, but I digress. About a month ago, I purchased a Lemme order for the purpose of reviewing the supplements as earnestly as possible, and I was eager to do so for the reasons I stated above. That, and the fact that I’m truly a sucker for a Kardashian brand. I am an avid Skims fan and although I can’t really afford them, I have a few Good American pieces that I break out in the summertime. Jean shorts truly never looked so good on me until Khloe Kardashian got involved. When I heard that Kourtney, the least entrepreneurial sister of the Kardashian empire, created Lemme, I had hoped I would find a way to try some of the products without breaking the bank. This time, my boss paid for them. I’d say thanks, but for this experience, I am everything but grateful.

Lemme offers the following description of their products on their official website:

“For the last 13 years, (after having my first baby and reading about the best foods to feed him) I became really aware of the importance of what we put into our bodies. My wellness journey began! Since then, I have tried so many different things and met with doctors, gurus, specialists, in pursuit of living my healthiest and most balanced life– from oversized supplements that are difficult to swallow to gummy vitamins that were ok on taste but not so good on ingredients, and I learned so much along the way! None of this made sense to me. Why can't it be yummy and be good for you?

Lemme tell you, it can!

Meet Lemme - My new line of vitamin and botanical supplements I've created to become a divine part of your everyday life.

Over the last 5 years, I went on a mission to collaborate with doctors and scientists to create gummy vitamins and supplements that use clinically-backed ingredients and formulations that help you live your best life. The twist? I made them so delicious you won't believe they're this good for you.

Kourtney Kardashian Barker”

As I copy and pasted the bio above, my Grammarly program is flagging a few grammatical mistakes in the text. This isn’t shocking, as it seems like a lot of what she’s done in the past has been kinda thrown together, for lack of a better way to put it.

The most impressive thing about Lemme is their packaging design, which did floor me. If nothing else, the Kardashians are prolific in their sense of style. Although I won’t be taking these supplements any longer, I almost feel as if I should dump the product down the toilet and keep the bottles for my other pills so that my cabinet looks less medical and ugly.

I purchased a BYOB (build your own bundle), which consisted of their Lemme Matcha, Lemme Chill, and Lemme Focus supplements; promising to boost energy, relaxation, and alertness respectively. I also purchased their Lemme Fall In Love Organic Flower Elixer, which promises to boost “desire’. Kay.

The BYOB pack I purchased was 3 sets of gummies, and honestly, they are delicious. I like the texture– they’re soft and sweet and don’t have that weird vitamin taste you might have experienced from other supplements. The tincture is good too, but killer sweet. It says on the bottle that the user can either take the liquid alone or diluted in their drink of choice. I tried both methods and the taste did grow on me after a while. I can’t really say if it helped my “desire” in any way, but maybe its effects are compounding. I will say that I felt the effects of the other supplements within about 2 hours of ingestion.

Lemme Matcha definitely gave me the energy boost I expected, and as a matcha enthusiast, I was excited at the prospect of achieving matcha-level energy boosts without the price of a matcha latte. I felt as though I crashed after a few hours, but I suppose that’s to be expected if you ingest any kind of caffeine and Vitamin B12 combo. There are no miracles in this world!

Lemme Focus had no obvious effect. Again, this could be due to the fact that most supplements need time to build up in your system before the user experiences any benefits. For example, one cannot simply take biotin once and experience the hair, skin, and nail growth they’re searching for– results like that take time and commitment to the trial. I was totally down for that, but I’ll let you know very soon why I had to cut this trial short. (I promise.)

Lemme Chill? Dude. This one was bad news. I felt like I was knocked the hell out an hour or two after taking them and had intense fatigue the day after. I’m not one for “chill” supplements, as my natural energy levels tend to hang around the low side of the spectrum, and therefore I gravitate toward energy supplements instead. I didn’t take this one more than once because at this time I can’t really afford to be off my game, even if it’s for the sake of seeing through a full trial of the product.

All of this sounds pretty fair and predictable, but what happened as I continued taking the supplements was not part of the plan.

Kourtney Kardashian Barker’s Personal Affront To My Health

As I’ve mentioned above, I am not a supplement novice. I’ve been around the block and I know the general do’s and don’ts. I also have a lot of food allergies and am an avid label-reader because my health and safety heavily depend on this level of diligence. Because of this, I felt pretty confident that these supplements would be safe to take. Additionally aforementioned, I can’t confirm that the side effects I experienced were a direct result of the supplements, but I can confirm that when I stopped taking them, the side effects faded quickly. Here’s what happened…

The day after I started taking the supplements, I started having the worst stomach issues potentially of my whole life. It was bad– really bad. Not to get too detailed or intimate here, but it was so bad that I didn’t really feel confident enough to leave the house for extended periods of time without the guarantee of a bathroom nearby. That’s not like me! I have a pretty strong stomach and usually, I can treat symptoms with over-the-counter medications. For whatever reason, these side effects were stronger than any effort I made to combat them.

It’s worth noting that I stopped taking other supplements in order to make bodily room for Lemme’s. I stopped drinking coffee to make temporary room for Lemme Matcha, just to make sure I wasn’t getting too much caffeine or B12. I never took Lemme Matcha and Lemme Focus at the same time because I wanted to make sure I could distinguish between their effects, as sometimes “focus” and “energy” both mean “stimulant.”

At first, I wasn’t even linking the bathroom issues to the supplements, as it seemed so unlikely that these sweet little gummies could give me such severe side effects. I started taking them on a Tuesday and was pretty severely ill by Friday of that week. By the following Monday, I got nervous that the symptoms weren’t going away. To make matters worse, I developed a UTI due to extreme dehydration (something that happens to me when I get sick– anyone else?). By Tuesday evening, my dehydration got so bad, it landed me in the hospital. I was only there for a day, where I was monitored and rehydrated, but I had never before experienced anything like this. When I told the doctors that I was taking the supplements, they ordered me to cease immediately. I complied, and the symptoms faded after about 2 days. For the ten-thousandth time, correlation does not equal causation, and I’m fully aware of that, but I don’t know… I’m afraid to start taking them again because I don’t ever want to repeat this experience. I’m totally fine now, just a little traumatized and confused about what exactly went down.

Drama!

I’m not the only one giving Lemme grief. Page Six reported on February 10th that Lemme’s product Lemme Purr is stirring controversy among gynecologists, who are warning the public not to fall for celebrity “medical advice.”

The criticism stems from both the ingredient list and the “vulgar” advertising strategy of the product, which features language that is troubling to medical professionals who took a deeper look.

Lemme Purr is a supplement comprised of probiotics, pineapple, and Vitamin C. Apparently, this blend of ingredients is meant to help you balance the (forgive me) taste and smell of the vulva (yikes!).

Dr. Anita Mitra, London-based gynecologist and scientist with a Ph.D. on the vaginal microbiome was interviewed about the supplement by Page Six, and offered the following comment from Page Six’s story:

“This is anti-feminist. Anyone who tells you that you need to change the taste or smell of your vulva or vagina is working with the patriarchy,” she wrote. “And while we are at it, let’s stop using the cat emoji to refer to our anatomy”

Honestly, couldn’t agree more. Go off, Dr. Mitra!

Final Thoughts

I thought that after the Poosh phenomenon of yesteryear, people wouldn’t let Kourtney mess with their body chemistry anymore, but I guess we’re all suckers at the end of the day– myself obviously included. We really shouldn’t just be taking shit that is formulated god-knows-where at the behest of a woman who is, at the end of the day, not a doctor or medical expert of any kind. Personally, I think it’s pretty unethical for Kourtney to continuously get involved with these kinds of business endeavors because there are people out there who really think that if only they could get their hands on a Kardashian product, their lives would be that much sweeter and sexier. I am not one of those people, but I am a sucker for viral products and I took these supplements at my own will, so I’m not blaming my illness directly on Kourtney, but I gotta say, if I see her in the streets, it’s pretty much on-site for VARIOUS reasons. Travis Barker, stay out of it!