We can finally unite, once more, over a common enemy.
Last year, citizens of the New York and New Jersey area were given a rare opportunity to join forces and compromise, to a permanent end, a common enemy: the Spotted Lanternfly.
What is the Spotted Lanternfly?
It's an invasive species indigenous to China and Vietnam that made its way to the United States in 2014. Despite their beauty, these flies are extremely detrimental to maple, walnut, and fruit trees, among others. They suck the sap out and their waste excrement aids the growth of fungal diseases in the trees they target. They are, however, harmless to humans. That’s nice!
However, they multiply rapidly, and scientists warn that if we don’t keep the population under control, they can wreak havoc on our ecosystems. So last year, we were encouraged to kill every Spotted Lanternfly we saw. Considering the covid-induced emotional trauma we’ve all experienced in different ways over the last three years, it comes as no surprise that people rose to the occasion. I certainly took advantage of the opportunity every chance I got. But this had me thinking— how can we take this opportunity to fight this insect enemy and relieve some stress at the same time, while also having a bit of a chuckle or at least an Instagram-able moment to take away from it all?
After some research, I found some pretty fun ways that we can fight these nasty losers. Review, enjoy, and have NO MERCY!!!
Bug Assault
I’ve wanted this thing for years. My friend got a bunch of them and we used them to shoot each other. It hurt a lot, which leads me to believe it would really f*** up a fly, and after all, that is the goal!
Zap Racket
I’ve had this one for quite some time now and it’s a trip. There’s a button on it that sends a relatively strong electric current through its “net,” just hold it down when you’re ready to kill a bug and it will fry the hell out of it. It’s pretty satisfying and sometimes the bug even smokes a little bit because the current is so strong. For the record, roasted dead bugs smell like burnt hair.
Flygun
I’m not sure how this one works but it looks insane and comes highly recommended by other sickos like me who are excited about killing bugs. Give it a try and let me know what happens.
Those dumb red boots
If you bought these dumb boots you’re probably already over them. Give them a new lease on life by throwing them to stomp on some Spotted Lanternflies. Remember– they’re killing our trees!