Is Cardi B and Offset can do it, so can everyone else!
The Cardi B and Offset Meal at McDonald’s is all the rage on social media– It’s what everyone is talking about. This 2175-calorie meal for two includes a Quarter Pounder®* with Cheese, Cheeseburger, Tangy Barbeque Sauce, Large Fries, Baked Apple Pie, Large Coca-Cola®, and a Large Hi-C® Orange Lavaburst®. Depending on where you live, the cost of this very confusing combination of foods comes out to be around $12-14 after tax, which isn’t bad! It’s always interesting to see what celebrity brand partnerships can yield. Some of us may recall the semi-recent BTS meal, which included 10 Piece Chicken McNuggets®, new limited-time sauces picked by BTS (Sweet Chili and Cajun sauces), Fries, and a Coke®. All of that may sound delicious, but to be perfectly honest, the whole idea of it kind of…confuses me? It all seems entirely arbitrary to me, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder what it would look like if other celebrities had their own meals. Once I got that train going, there was no stopping, so I figured I should share the curations with you and maybe if we’re lucky, one of them will come true!
Pete Davidson, Subway
Sorry to say it but: if anyone on this earth should have a five-dollar-foot-long named after them, it’s Pete. If you need me to explain why, stop reading this and finish your homework! Obviously, you could customize it however you’d like because he lives to please! And this goes without saying, but it would only be available for an extreaaaaaamly limited time before the deal jumps on over to the next restaurant.
Rihanna, Dunkin’
A few years ago, Charli D’Amelio had a bespoke drink called The Charli, which was essentially just a cold brew with whole milk and a caramel swirl. While that sounds fine, we know Rihanna could do better. I’m thinking some kind of Taro latte with a pretty purple color and maybe a hint of chili spice to catch you off guard. All I’m saying is that it would be colorful, interesting, and iconic.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Wendy’s
It’s just a kids meal.
Chris Rock, Jack-in-the-Box
Now I gotta be honest, I’ve never had Jack-in-the-Box before, but the idea of someone ordering the “Chris Rock” and getting a burger in a box that pops out like a real jack in the box and slaps you in the face would be pretty sick branding. I know Chris Rock would be totally on board with the joke, too.
Mike “The Situation” Sorentino, Jersey Mike’s
It’s such a perfect collaboration that I can’t believe it hasn’t been a thing in the past. This sandwich would be a TRIPLE cheese and roast beef sandwich. Why? He’s so damn cheesy and he’s always starting beef. The best part of this sandwich would be the fact that there’s no tax included in the price. If he doesn’t have to pay it, neither do you!
Hilaria Baldwin, Taco Bell
Hilaria Baldwin famously got caught speaking in a Spanish accent despite having grown up in Boston. Therefore, the HBxTB collab should be just as ethnically diverse as she pretends to be. Mexican Pizza and a large Baja Blast.
Doja Cat, Sonic
Sonic has a very confusing menu and Doja Cat is a confusing person. I like them both, but sometimes I feel like they both get so extra for no damn reason. Doja Cat’s Sonic meal would be a Cheesecake Milkshake, Chicken Fingers and Honey Mustard (something she’s rapped about loving in the past), and yes– it’ll be served to you on rollerskates.
Taylor Swift, Panera Bread
Both Swift and Panera pretend to be down-to-Earth and homegrown but if you take even the slightest look behind the curtain, the lies are exposed! It’s all manufactured bullshit! So for the Taylor Swift meal, get ready for a Turkey Sandwich on Country White Bread with absolutely no sauce. Just dry bread and meat served with a piping hot cup of tea…