I Am Not My Hair

Ten years ago, I started shaving my head. But I didn’t realize how much my personal decision would trigger, inspire, and challenge so many people. A choice I made about MYSELF, MY APPEARANCE, MY JOURNEY would generate LOTS of conversations amongst family, friends, and the men I have dated—some of them were good, others were bad.

I read somewhere that “The symbol of a shaved head has signified devotion, beauty, rebellion, and even sometimes, a sign of a mental break.” I have experienced all of the above at some point over the last decade. I would be a liar to say otherwise.

I am asked ALL the time, “When will you grow it back?” I do not have that answer. Depends on where my spirit takes me. For now, and perhaps for another ten years, THIS is me. After all these years, I’m used to hearing those kinds of responses about my hair or lack thereof.

What I should look like, and what I would look like if I had hair? Before speaking and offering your opinion on how someone should look, their choice of style, or even the length of their hair. Let's try to be kind to each other and be more thoughtful with our words. Everyone is going to present themselves in the way that they feel most comfortable and the way that they feel the most beautiful. It doesn't necessarily have to be your standard of comfort or beauty and that's totally good. So let's just put a few thoughts to bed, I still think about vacation hair, calling me bald-headed does not offend me, and lastly, develop a sense of humor, it's ok we are all not supposed to look the same.

Growing up, in Creole Louisiana, the whole light skin, long hair thing is very, very real. When I was in high school and college, I would have laughed in your face if you would've told me I would shave my head. This is me, this is who I am and this is how I feel best. Learning. Growing. Evolving. In Love. So let's just try and put good vibes out there and uplift each other

My top five bald head fun facts: From me to you:

1. You have to have a great sense of humor- I get a lot of DMs from people telling me they don't understand why I use the hashtag #longhairdontcare and why I mimic having a ponytail or pulling my hair back. Why when I issue a read I do a top knot, simulating me putting my hair up and putting a pin in it. Saying “you don't have any hair so why do you do this?” my answer? I know I don't have any hair I know this, I am aware, I cut it every three days. I also know that you don't have a personality.

2 YesI do still think about my vacation hair: it is very real to me, I make sure my clippers are charged I have my main clippers courtesy of Bevel. I also have a pair of backup clippers just in case, depending on how long my trip is and if I am going international having a pair of cordless clippers is great as well. So, don't think because I am bald that I don't think about my hair.

3. Summer is Coming, Please Prepare: For all of you who have recently shaved your hair, please use sunscreen, because a tender pink scalp that's burnt is not cute.

4. The random head rubs must stop: My friends are always saying ‘naaaaahhhh strangers don't just come up to you and rub your head like your a pet?’ Yes they do, I’ve gotten really good with the blocks but sometimes I can feel the hand presence in the back of my head and the crazy part is, people, get offended when I tell them that they shouldn't be walking up to a random stranger and be rubbing on them.

5. We are not looking for unsolicited advice on our appearance. People assume because I don't have hair, my confidence level is high. That is not always the case. I am a human being, I have my highs and lows and sometimes people feel like they can just say anything. For example, “I think you used to be pretty when you had hair.” Calling me baldheaded does not hurt my feelings—-you're beating me with the wrong stick, I already know I'm bald I cut it every 3 days I’ve been doing it on purpose for a decade. I know I don't have hair it's not an insult I feel good I love me.